An alternative to self-esteem

By focusing on others, having self-compassion or adopting a distanced view of yourself, you can work toward your goals without constant self-evaluation and self-criticism. If we were to design a new self-esteem movement, it would teach people to reduce focus on the worth of the self altogether because any action designed to enhance self-esteem is destined to have, at best, temporary benefits and most likely will fail because such actions are motivated by a toxic preoccupation with self-judgment.

... Helping others may make you feel good about yourself but only if you let go of what this means about you. If you are wondering, "Do I have worth?" "Do I have value?" the answer is not yes, no or maybe. The answer is simpler: change the subject.

Crocker and Carnevale, "Letting Go of Self-Esteem," Scientific American Mind Sept/Oct (2013): 27-33, p. 33.